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Category Archives: My Writing
Fears of what will be
A while ago I blogged on the distress I go through in my self-publishing. Now I’m calling it “My fears of what will be”—my fear of possibly finding out that my book cover will not look very good, or as good as it should be. And in every project, that is my fear. But I did my best on it, so why do I fear?
As I look at some old people that are facing the end of life, I think they have the same fears (as I sometimes do). It is the fear of finding out that our eternal rewards will be small.
One of my favorite verses is Psalm 34:4: “I sought the Lord and He heard me and delivered me from all my fears.” In this context, David was fearing for his life being in the camp of the Philistines; and so, he pretended to be crazy so that they would not think that he would be a problem. And it worked; they dismissed him and put him out (1 Sam. 21:10-15). Hence, God saved him. Apparently, David sought the Lord in what to do, and he thought God was telling him to pretend to be crazy (so God has a sense of humor!).
Now, as for whether we should have fears for our eternal rewards; if we do all that God leads us to do, all that we think He wants us to do, what else can we do? If we take each day at a time and obey Him, what else can we do? Remember what Paul said at the end of his life? “I have fought the good fight” (2 Tm. 4:7-8). Hence, if you also have done your best in fighting the good fight, there is no more you can do. Ask Him to deliver you from all fears. I think it is marvelous that it says all fears. I think fear tends to multiply itself and grow in our heart if we let it. And it need not be. Read further on in Psalm 34. God is telling us to focus on the Lord and praise Him and see that He is good; and then to fear Him. Verse 9 says, “O fear the LORD, you His saints: for to those who fear Him there is no want.”
I think that if we have a healthy fear of God (to trust Him and pray about everything), He will keep us from all the bad fears, the fears we find in this evil world.
Distress, Regret, Worry
These are the best words I can think of. Here’s my story. I am in the process of republishing a few of my books. I’m not the best at it, but I insist on doing everything myself (I’m a self-publisher). I am mostly redoing the book covers. Well, I won’t go into all the details, but it is a little tricky getting everything to line up and looking good. Then next, I have to submit it and buy a copy of the book. And when I get it back in the mail (in print form), I have to inspect it for its approval. If it looks good to me I will mark it as approved and then it is put on the market. However, if it is not right—for instance if the title and authors name on the edge of the book are not centered—I have to fix it and send it back again and go through the whole process again, which takes at least another two or three weeks. Well, sometimes it is Lulu’s (the publisher) fault and sometimes my fault. But regardless, it’s a headache and I get a feeling of regret over the loss of time and money. Sometimes I have to go through the approval process three or four times. I hate the waiting! I regret the waiting.
Or maybe it’s not entirely regret. Maybe it’s partly just grumbling and complaining and worry—and all distress.
Last night I had a good sleep and God allowed me to dream. I was in another world. I woke up refreshed. But then two seconds after I woke up I remembered my publishing problem and I said to myself, “Oh no, I am here again in this real world of distress.” I thanked the Lord for allowing me to escape for the night in my dreams, and I also prayed He would somehow take away my regret and distress—my feeling of loss, or whatever this bad feeling is.
You know, I think this feeling is what hell will be like—an eternity of regret over loss, and over my mistakes. And not being able to do anything about it.
But as time passes I am hopeful that God will give me more positive, peaceful, hopeful thoughts. Just to read and meditate on Scripture and anything more positive helps. And praying over it helps. God will help. Scripture tells us that praying about our problems will cause the peace of God that surpasses all comprehension to guard our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus (Phil. 4:6-7). Here, I take it that because of our union with Christ when we pray, Jesus will give us a supernatural inner peace and will guard and protect our being. Sounds wonderful. Just thinking about it is giving me hope.
More thoughts. I regret mistakes I make at my painting, but that’s different because I can fix it the next day. In the publishing world you have to wait and wait and wait.
And there are many other losses people have to deal with, like their house burning down and having to rebuild. Some people deal with theses things well, others don’t.
I’m reading about Jonathan Edwards. He had some real distresses to deal with. After serving as head Pastor in a church for over twenty years, because of a controversy over communion, a few leaders in the church expelled him. I’m sure he and his large family suffered a great loss. But was Janathan overcome with regret and sorrow? No. He remained strong in faith. He said, “The Lord has not forsaken us, nor suffered us to sink under our trials. He has in many respects exercised a fatherly care of us in our distresses.”
And God did have another mission for him as he began a mission to a group of Indians located about 100 miles west in the deep wilderness. It was a calling he was prepared for since he already had a prayer burden for them.
Update: Mostly about John Wesley
I will start with my writing. I’m writing every day. My new book project is on Heaven. So far, I’m still doing research. Also, at the same time I’m redoing a few books—mostly book covers. Oh, I also have a new publishing name: Zenyl Publishing. What do you think of the name?
John Wesley
I have about a dozen Heroes of the Faith books that I’m reading. I recently read about Martin Luther and William Tyndale. Now I’m reading John Wesley—almost finished. John was an interesting character. His parents, Samuel and Susanna, were hard working farmers, and Samuel was a preacher. All of their ten children (7 girls and 3 boys) were well educated at home. I was amazed at their very strict and early education schedule. “Every minute of every day was planned.” John in particular was very studious. From age five he started to read (from the bible). He also learned Greek, Hebrew, and Latin, along with the regular courses like math, history and music. Then in 1720, at seventeen, John went to collage in the town of Oxford in London, where he was schooled mainly in the classics.
It was during this time that he decided to become a cleric like his father. And he also began to lead a group called “The Holy Club.” Everyone in the club had to abide by a very strict and moral code.
Well, to my surprise, even as John was brilliant in his writing and preaching, and even in his holiness, he had serious doubts about his salvation. And this was revealed to him mainly because of his fears of death (during a few skirmishes with enemies). But, in God’s providence, he had certain Moravian friends who had no such fear of dying. Hence, through the private tutoring of these Moravians and by his own prayers, John came to have an assurance of his faith; and he grew into a very dynamic preacher; and even though he was often pelted with stones, nearly to death, he had no fear!
And besides his fears (which he overcame) he had another weakness. For some reason he thought he had to minister to, and tutor, every young woman that he was attracted to. And he fell in love with them all—but never could commit to any of them because of his ministry commitments. I counted six women. But the seventh one his brother Charles convinced him to marry. Well, he did marry her, but not for love; and she soon left him in a rage because of his lack of attention to her.
Well, as we know, those holy clubs developed into a movement called the Methodists; and John was its leader. I don’t know much about the Methodist church—except that they are quite liberal. I don’t think they are anything like what John intended them to be. At first I’m sure the Methodist were a godly people, and I suppose that many of our true Christian churches came from those Methodists. But if there is one thing I am grateful for it is the hymns that John and Charles wrote that are still in our hymn books.
The Power of the Word
I have been reading on Martin Luther. His whole life he clung to the power of the Word of truth. For example, during the Peasants Revolt in the mid 1500’s (against the rich upper class), Luther faced the movement not by violence, but by speaking the truth. He said,
“I will preach, speak, write, but I will force no one; for faith must be voluntary. Take me as an example. I stood up against the Pope…but without violence or uproar. I only urged, preached, and declared God’s Word; nothing else.”
Luther also said of the devil when he sees men using violence: “He sits with folded arms behind the fire of hell, and says with malignant looks and frightful grin: ‘Ah, how wise these madmen are who play my game…But when he sees the Word running and contending alone on the battlefield, then he shudders and shakes for fear.”
Luther said: “The Word is almighty, and takes captive the hearts.
In reading these words, I thought of what my part is. Instead of taking part in demonstrations and marches, I think it is better to continue with blogs to spread the good Word of God. I will continue to write books (mostly for my benefit) but always with blogs. I think it is a more peaceful way. This is a world now of social media, and we need more Christian influence. And we know that the Word will not return void. As Isaiah wrote,
For as the rain comes down, and the snow from heaven,
And do not return there,
But water the earth,
And make it bring forth and bud,
That it may give seed to the sower
And bread to the eater,
11 So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth;
It shall not return to Me void,
But it shall accomplish what I please,
And it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it. (Isa 55:10-11)
Kneeling in Prayer
Update: Mostly about Me
The biggest news is Trump winning big in the Iowa caucus. But it’s not surprising to me, even that people braved the cold. Hey, it’s Iowa; cold is normal there. Many are saying that he has already clinched the election and all others should drop out and support him.
My Reading
The last three books I’ve read are biographies—Heroes of the Faith: Tyndale, Eric Little, and just finishing Gladys Aylward. I had never heard of Gladys Aylward, but now I know she is definitely a hero. This small lady was so courageous in China. She did such good work at a time when China was at war by two forces: the Communists and Japan, during the 1930’s. The reading of these books have been so inspiring to me that I have decided to read all of them I have over again—about a dozen of them, from the 1500’s (with Luther and Tyndale) to the 1930’s.
My Writing
My writing is always a slow process—because I always do tons of research firs; and I only spend about a half hour a day on it. So, it’s a grind, but I still like it and it’s so beneficial to me. I would say that it is benefiting me far more than anyone else that would be reading.
Time Off From Work
I haven’t worked for over a month—at my painting. Even though I am retired I will still be picking up some jobs soon. People will call me as soon as it gets a little warmer—or I will call them. In the meantime I will do more reading and writing. And I go out to eat breakfast almost every day. I never did that before. Well, that’s retirement I guess.
Wishing for Heavenly Dreams
It’s snowing outside. About time! It looks good to me. It warms my heart to see those huge white flakes come down.
I thank the Lord that I have been having better sleep the last couple of days. I’ve been taking melatonin. I think that is the reason. Now I just need to improve my dreams. I want dreams that are more godly, more heavenly. That would be so great. Maybe when I start writing my new book on heaven that will happen. I’m so excited about it. I’m still in the reading and note taking stage. Soon I will be ready to start writing. And, as usual I will be blogging all along as I write.
In my daily bible reading I’ve been noticing more and more passages on heaven. Hebrews 11 is that way. Each faith character mentioned has a heavenly goal—they looked for a better place, a heavenly city. And that moved them ahead through all their suffering. They looked not for earthly comfort, but for the hope of heaven. And even Christ endured the cross for the joy set before Him. I would like to have dreams of heaven and dreams where I am rejoicing in my anticipation of heaven.
Update: The News
News
The top of the news is the war in Israel. It seems that all nations are against what Israel is doing. I think the main reason why so many Palestinians are being killed is because Hamas is not letting them out and hiding behind them. It’s a shame. But most Palestinians, even those who are not tied to Hamas, are also against Israel. They have been trained from a child to hate the Jews.
I think the war is going well, and I wish the US and all other nations would let Israel alone and let them fight their own war. I know that if Trump were the Pres. He would support them in whatever they would want and also aid them.
I am most disappointed in the elite colleges like Harvard who aren’t doing one thing to put down the antisemitism and marches. They are getting a very bad reputation as being very liberal and anti-Jewish. Sad!
Both Biden and Trump are on the hot seat. Biden could be impeached for his criminal history—I hope. It’s a different story for Trump. He is wrongly judged for so many things. The New York AG is making it her amusement to get rid of Trump. I guess she is trying to build up her own image and popularity with the people. Sad.
Prophetic Horizons
In just the last few years Russia, Turkey and Iran are coming together and making plans to war together against Israel. This is exactly what the Bible says will happen in the last days (read Ezek. 38, 39). This latest Israel/Hamas war is also prophetic, because it is bringing out so much animosity against Israel. It is shocking to me how many are declaring their hatred against the Jews. It is Satanic. He is working hard to eliminate the Jews. But that won’t happen.
My Reading
I just finished reading about William Tyndale. What a brilliant and dedicated servant of God. Now I’m reading about Eric Liddell, a champion Olympic runner and a missionary to China (from 1923 to 1945). He was such a humble man. He ran for the Lord and used his running fame as a platform to evangelize the lost. He really cared nothing for his own fame; he did everything for the glory of God.
This and That
I’ve been feeling sickly—trying to exercise more and eat better. I didn’t feel like going to church, but I still wanted to and so I did. And it helped me. The fellowship with believers always lifts me up. Church is so necessary for these times (Heb. 10:24-25).
It’s rather warm here is MN—in the 40’s! and no snow. Very odd for Mn.
Life is Good
In my last post I gave you all my complaints. This morning I have been thinking and feeling how good my life is—pretty good. I really have very little to complain about. I am well fed, feeling good, healthy. I have no debts, just day to day expenses. God is good!
The sun is shining, and I know that God has been merciful to me.
I am feeling more and more like writing my next book on heaven, and I have an idea for the outline. I think at this time in my life the best thing I can do is to think every day on heaven. Maybe that is why I feel so good today—because I have been reading about it—what it will be like.
Some people say that if you are too heavenly bound you are no earthly good. But I think that if you are too earthly bound you are no earthly good; for thinking on heaven is the best way for a Christian to feel good about life. Knowing where we are headed and knowing that it will be wonderful, tends to brighten ones day on earth and give him a motivation for living a holy life.
Stephen Nielsen 