Update: Feelings about every Little Thing

I’ll start off with my overall feelings—how I feel, generally, about everything, about every little thing. I mean it seems like so many things are beginning to pile up on me and making me anxious. I suppose that’s why I think it’s time for an update. I need a vent. I need to put things in perspective, to organize, and most of all to bring things to the Lord—the One who knows it all and who cares.

I can’t find an adequate description of how things are with me. There are fears and worries and tiredness and some regrets and some health issues and just a lack of clarity about things. And then I worry about what is happening to me. Okay, I have a list I want to work through—mainly for my sake, but you can listen in if you want.

The News

I heard the other day that, I think it was about 65% of people, don’t believe the news—TV news, newspapers, all of it. News people these days have an agenda. They aren’t true journalists. They have a plan. They write the way they want to influence people. For instance, the reason that they are writing in the papers and on TV news about the Jan. 6th subpoenas and about those who are refusing to come, it is all an effort to get people to think badly about what Donald Trump did—so that they will think twice about voting for him. Again, its all politics. Its all about stopping Trump. It’s so sick! I could say more, but I think that’s enough on news for now.

My Reading

I’m reading United States of Socialism, by Dinesh D’Souza. Generally, I think it’s a good book—very informative and true. But sometimes, like the news, it gets to be too negative. I guess I have to also be reading the Word. It’s like drinking coffee. For every gulp of coffee, we should also take one or two gulps of water, especially on hot days when I am working outside. My doctor told me that.

My Writing

I’m an author, so most of my writing will be on a book. And then I will transfer parts of it to my blog. I’m writing now on the Tribulation. That sounds pretty negative, but I’m actually being blessed by the writing—because I’m using the bible as my main source. I’ve gotten to the point now where most of what I write comes out good on the first try—no editing requited. But recently that’s not been true—because of a hard passage in Revelation. Anyway, I was fairly sure of this one thing I wrote. Then last night because of additional reading on it, I know now that I will have to change it. It must be changed. And when you are writing a biblical commentary on a passage, it is critical to get it right. And when you do finally get it right after the second or third try it will always be a blessing and worth the effort.

My Jobs

It’s always nice to take time off. But I’m getting the itch now to go back to work—at least a little. Oh, I’m a house painter if you didn’t know. I’m retired, but I’m thinking that as long as I feel good enough to work, and want to, I will. I like painting and I especially like doing it to help people. It’s something God has gifted me at and put me into. However, it seems that because of my aging, I have more worries about it—about every aspect of it: doing it right, not falling off a ladder, pleasing people, all of it. Well, I’ve come to the end now on this blog and I feel better. Thank the Lord.

Managing Fear, Walking by Faith

When I heard my pastor say this morning that we need to manage our fears and walk by faith, my heart perked up. Will this be an answer to my prayers? For the last few days, I have felt aggravated by what’s going on at work, and I also know that I am struggling with fear; fear of the person that I work for. Well, last night I was not able to sleep and so I sat up in my bed with my bible in hand, trying to find a verse of Scripture to help me—but nothing. So, I prayed that God would soon show me a good Scripture passage and tell me what to do. Then this morning I really didn’t feel too good and almost didn’t go to church. Then I thought: well, maybe the Lord will give me something; maybe He will answer my prayers. And He surely did.

This morning’s sermon was from the book of Numbers, chapters 13 and 14. You may remember what happened. Twelve spies went into Canaan to spy out the land. They found that the land was very good, but that the people were huge and their cities were well-guarded. Ten out of the twelve spies had great fears; they reported that they were not able to go up against them, that they were not strong enough. They said, “We became like grasshoppers in our own sight and so we were in their sight.”

Here are a few notes that I wrote down from the sermon:

  • When they went into Canaan and looked around, they didn’t manage their fears and so they didn’t walk by faith.
  • God said, enough of the whining, just trust Me.
  • We are to walk by faith, not by fear.
  • There is a high price for not managing our fear.
  • “Fear is a reaction; courage is a decision.” – Winton Churchill
  • The people of Israel wept all night at the peril they faced, but they didn’t turn to God in faith.
  • “If we do not fear God, we fear everything else.” – Oswald Chambers
  • When we fear and don’t trust God, we will miss His gifts.

So, what should I do with my situation at work? First of all, I will be praying and will trust God in what to do. I will not let fear rule my life. I will not let myself stew over any further potential problem. I will have a positive attitude as I manage my fears. And I will follow the example of Caleb who said (in Nu. 13:30), “We should by all means go up and take possession of it [the land], for we will surely overcome it.”