I see and hear these birds more than ever this year.
Jump!
Oh there’s a beautiful swan!
Black Birds Are Out
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Category Archives: Retirement
Update: Painting, Plodding, and Praying
I am a retired painter, but people continue to call me for work—so I agree to do it. As long as I am able and willing I’ll do it. But I feel a bit weaker in body and mind. Much prayer is needed!
I’m reading more now. I like especially reading the short biographies of famous preachers—or should I say preachers that were great for God, like George Whitfield, Charles Simeon, and Christmas Evans (the one I read about today). This reading is a great encouragement to me and is a great supplement to the bible.
I am plodding along in my writing. I’m writing a book now on heaven. I have finished the outline; now I’m taking one point at a time and putting words on paper and then on the computer. Soon I will break it up into blogs so you all can see it before the book comes out.
I’m struggling with diabetes—trying to keep my blood sugar down. For someone who loves food (like me) that’s hard. I’m supposed to exercise everyday too. I’ve decided to walk everyday—about 2 miles. I don’t mind it. I use the time for prayer, meditation and also photography. The days here (in Minn.) are starting to get warmer so that will be good. And if it rains I’ll walk in the mall (not as good). Well, sighing off.
Ps. Prayers for Israel and Ukraine people. Always praying for Donald Trump—so unfair! Prayers for all people everywhere—to resist the temptation of the flesh and the evil world, until the Savior comes!
Fears of what will be
A while ago I blogged on the distress I go through in my self-publishing. Now I’m calling it “My fears of what will be”—my fear of possibly finding out that my book cover will not look very good, or as good as it should be. And in every project, that is my fear. But I did my best on it, so why do I fear?
As I look at some old people that are facing the end of life, I think they have the same fears (as I sometimes do). It is the fear of finding out that our eternal rewards will be small.
One of my favorite verses is Psalm 34:4: “I sought the Lord and He heard me and delivered me from all my fears.” In this context, David was fearing for his life being in the camp of the Philistines; and so, he pretended to be crazy so that they would not think that he would be a problem. And it worked; they dismissed him and put him out (1 Sam. 21:10-15). Hence, God saved him. Apparently, David sought the Lord in what to do, and he thought God was telling him to pretend to be crazy (so God has a sense of humor!).
Now, as for whether we should have fears for our eternal rewards; if we do all that God leads us to do, all that we think He wants us to do, what else can we do? If we take each day at a time and obey Him, what else can we do? Remember what Paul said at the end of his life? “I have fought the good fight” (2 Tm. 4:7-8). Hence, if you also have done your best in fighting the good fight, there is no more you can do. Ask Him to deliver you from all fears. I think it is marvelous that it says all fears. I think fear tends to multiply itself and grow in our heart if we let it. And it need not be. Read further on in Psalm 34. God is telling us to focus on the Lord and praise Him and see that He is good; and then to fear Him. Verse 9 says, “O fear the LORD, you His saints: for to those who fear Him there is no want.”
I think that if we have a healthy fear of God (to trust Him and pray about everything), He will keep us from all the bad fears, the fears we find in this evil world.
Update: Mostly about Me
The biggest news is Trump winning big in the Iowa caucus. But it’s not surprising to me, even that people braved the cold. Hey, it’s Iowa; cold is normal there. Many are saying that he has already clinched the election and all others should drop out and support him.
My Reading
The last three books I’ve read are biographies—Heroes of the Faith: Tyndale, Eric Little, and just finishing Gladys Aylward. I had never heard of Gladys Aylward, but now I know she is definitely a hero. This small lady was so courageous in China. She did such good work at a time when China was at war by two forces: the Communists and Japan, during the 1930’s. The reading of these books have been so inspiring to me that I have decided to read all of them I have over again—about a dozen of them, from the 1500’s (with Luther and Tyndale) to the 1930’s.
My Writing
My writing is always a slow process—because I always do tons of research firs; and I only spend about a half hour a day on it. So, it’s a grind, but I still like it and it’s so beneficial to me. I would say that it is benefiting me far more than anyone else that would be reading.
Time Off From Work
I haven’t worked for over a month—at my painting. Even though I am retired I will still be picking up some jobs soon. People will call me as soon as it gets a little warmer—or I will call them. In the meantime I will do more reading and writing. And I go out to eat breakfast almost every day. I never did that before. Well, that’s retirement I guess.
Update: My Complaints
Today I’m going to do some complaining. I hope you don’t mind too much. Ha ha.
Talking Too Loud
I like to sit in my favorite restaurant in the morning for breakfast and read. So, I like it quiet. I don’t mind normal conversation, but there are always a few people that talk too loudly. Their voice is heard almost no matter where I sit, and it’s hard to concentrate on my reading. It’s very annoying! I almost want to say something to them, but I don’t want to embarrass them. You know, it’s almost as if they want people to hear them. It’s like they take pride in being heard by many people. Maybe they have a secret desire to be a preacher or a politician or a comedian—but never get the chance.
Derek Chauvin
I’m not a fan of his, but I think he got a bum deal. I don’t think he is guilty of murder. He was just doing his job. In fact, he acted in accordance with how he was trained. When Floyd resisted arrest, Chauvin used an approved method of restraint.
Last night I listened to a segment on Newsmax. I heard that it has recently been found that there was no evidence that Chauvin killed Floyd. Yes, there was never any scientific evidence that his knee caused any trauma to Floyd. There was “No life-threatening injury identified.” In fact, did you know that the actual prosecutors did not believe that any of the officers should have been criminally charged? They thought the case should have been thrown out for lack of evidence. It was suggested that since Floyd had 16.6 grams of Fentanyl in his system, maybe that was more the cause of his death, since 2 grams is considered to be a lethal dose.
Then why and how was Chauvin convicted of murder? Two reasons: 1) Keith Elison (Minnesota’s AG) decided that he would take over the case. He saw to it that Chauvin would be seen as racist and would be convicted. 2) Chauvin was convicted not based on evidence, but on political and media driven pressure. The public convicted him! This sounds to me an awful lot like Jesus’ trial. Pilot rendered Jesus guilty based only on what the crowd wanted. They said, Crucify Him! So He was!
Like I said, I am no fan of Chauvin, but I am disappointed in this country and in my state of Minnesota, that we will sentence a person based not on evidence but on popular opinion. Where is the justice?
My writing
I’m not presently writing any books. I’ve been going back and re-writing—editing. Truthfully, I’m kind of discouraged. I like to write, but not many are buying. I may look into a different self-publishing company, one that is more Christian based. Lulu is open for anything. I also need more money and more direction and support. I can’t do it all myself—which is what I have been doing. Enough complaining!
My reading
I would like to write a book on heaven. But before I start I need to do more reading on the subject. I read the book Heaven, by Randy Alcorn and now I am reading a book on heaven by John MacArthur. So far, I don’t like it—too negative. He spends too much time in telling the false teaching of heaven. I already know that. I want to know what the truth is about heaven. I may have to just do my own Bible Study, to go through the entire Bible and see what it says. That’s the best way anyway.
I’m also reading a book about William Tyndale. I’m enjoying it. He lived in a difficult time and place—in the 1500’s in England and also Germany. He was brilliant. He was so dedicated to his work of translating the Bible into English, from Latin and Greek, and he also examined Luther’s German translation. He wanted the common man to have a bible to read in English. Since the Catholic Church was against his work and against his teaching, he was always moving around from place to place—hiding. They eventually labeled him a heretic and at the end was burned at the stake.
I am only halfway done with the book so that will not come until the last few pages. Terrible to think about!
I will end my complaints here. I hope I will have a better day—and that you will too.
Standing at Attention
I had a dream last night. I was in boot camp. As dreams usually go, it was sort of disjointed; but anyway, I remember that I was sitting back, sort of rambling on about something. And then I was asked by a stern voice behind me why I was not standing at attention like everyone else. It was sort of a Gomer Pyle incident. Well, suddenly, in my embarrassment, I realized that I was not at attention as I should be, and I quickly snapped to it.
When I woke up from that short dream I immediately wondered what God was showing me—maybe that I am too lax in my life, and that I am not serious enough and steadfast enough in His program; that I need to get with it.
I was in the Marine Corps from 1969 to 1971 and I never had trouble standing at attention. In fact, I think my conduct was good. I was a good Marine. But lately, now in my old age (at 72) maybe I am becoming a little lax. Maybe I am letting things slide. I think I need to ‘get with the program” more (God’s program).
When I think of standing at attention these words and phrases come to mind: being still, rigidness, readiness, alertness, being cautious, watchfulness, not being lax or slack or laidback or careless, looking my best, being fearless, bold, steadfast, courageous, resisting evil.
And usually, when you think of standing at attention you think of standing with other solders in straight lines—all ready for inspection. So, the picture is of the readiness of a combat unit ready for war.
I think God wants me to understand my dream as how I can be better prepared for the war against the flesh and all evil. He is telling me that I am too lax, too slack, too laidback, undisciplined, too unprepared to do battle against the enemy and evil.
Here are a few verses that come to mind as I think of standing at attention.
Matthew 26:41. Keep watching and praying that you may not enter into temptation; the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.
I remember those days in boot camp while standing at attention. It was the perfect opportunity to be still and pray and listen to the voice of God—and my drill instructor!
Isaiah 50:7. Because the Lord helps me, I will not be dismayed. I have set my face like a flint to do His will; and I know that I will triumph.
I remember wearing those wool dress uniforms. They were very itchy and uncomfortable. Standing at attention very still was helpful. I was determined to be strong through the discomfort. Now, 53 years later, I also need to be strong and determined, and to resist all evil and trouble.
Joshua 1:9. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.
Standing at attention is taking a position of strength and courage. Showing fearlessness.
1 Corinthians 15:58. Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your toil is not in vain in the Lord.
When we stand at attention in our mind in the army of God we demonstrate to the world and to the angels that we are steadfast and unmovable in any work for the Lord. We will be steadfast to resist all evil and continue in the work of God as He has planned for us to do, knowing that our labor for Him will not be in vail.
What’s on my Mind? Biden, Jim Jordan, Faith …
First and foremost, on my mind is suspicion of Biden. I don’t trust him. He seems to be playing both sides. He says he is for Israel, but at the same time he is aiding Hamas and delaying Israel’s war effort. I think he is just trying to get votes from both sides. It is all political.
Second on my mind is why Jim Jordan is being stopped from being Speaker. I think he would make a very good speaker—but liberals won’t allow it. Do they know what they are doing?
Thirdly, and more personal, is my thoughts on the subject of obedience and faith. I give the credit to John MacArthur in his book, The Gospel According to Jesus. He points out that some say that obedience and faith should be regarded as separate, that obedience is works and should come after faith—something like that. But MacArthur makes the point that the two should always be together—as James points out, faith without works is dead.
And what is really coming to light for me now is that when we are disobedient to God, we are in sin; and so, this tells us that when we sin we are lacking in faith—or we are not trusting God. I know that we—even good Christians—will never be perfect in obedience and faith; but this is something we have to be constantly working on. I mean, we cannot let up in our effort to be holy and godly. And on the brighter side, when we are more obedient, God makes us happy (or joyful). And when we are obedient we have more hope and steadfastness and resilience in evil times. In short, obedience to God is the key to the victorious Christian life—because in our obedience we are trusting in Him.
Fourthly, as I trust and obey Him, I plod along with everything else. I have two books that I am editing. I am nursing a thing in my mouth called lichen planus (sort of a disease which apparently has no cure; but I am using mouth washes, aloe Vera gel and clove to try to get rid of it, or at least sooth it).
I am also reading two books; the one I mentioned by MacArthur, and a book by Bill O’Reilly, Killing the Witches. This book falls in line with the one I just read, Mayflower. The Mayflower arrived in 1620 and the witches tragedy occurred later at about 1680. I say tragedy because they were killing girls that weren’t witches at all. They were just suspected of being witches. It was much like the Catholic inquisition—burning Christians alive. Terrible!
My blogging has slowed down, but now that I am not working much, I will try to pick it up again.
My Update — Three Things
I’ll start with a few complaints. Aside from an aggravating health situation, the weather here in Minnesota is most unpleasant. It’s dark, cloudy, humid, cold, and dreary. I don’t mind it being cold, but I like a sunny day. God, please give me a sunny day!
Respect for Marriage Act
Is that an oxymoron? If I didn’t know what it was I would praise it. Marriage is a beautiful thing. And though I am divorced, I still believe it is good—as is all of God’s creation. But this Respect for Marriage Act is a farce. It is telling us that we have to respect the so-called marriage between people of the same gender. Well, I don’t! True marriage is only between a man and a woman. Anything else is a perversion and is dishonoring of their bodies; they are changing the truth into a lie, and are changing what is natural into that which is against nature. Consequently, they do not like to retain God in their thoughts and they have given themselves over to a reprobate mind (from Romans 1:24-28). But marriage between a man and a woman is good and honoring to God. It is what God designed from the beginning—the two shall be one flesh.
My Reading
For some reason I have gotten into reading about African American history, and recently about Booker T. Washington. Wow! He was such a great man. He has done so much for his race and also for the poor whites and all people in the south after the civil war. He was a great educator. His emphasis in his college was to get his students working in a trade as well as into books. And so many from his college became great leaders and moral people, as they were trained also biblically and morally. And it was a hard task, because blacks coming out of slavery then were kept from any kind of education. Most did not know how to read or write or how to keep themselves clean or in good health. Hence when they came to school, Booker T. trained them in the art of bathing and brushing their teeth, etc., as well as how to read and write. And they were also expected to learn farming and building. All of their school buildings were built by the students. And they even made their own bricks!
Retirement
Retirement is a big change for me. Sometimes I feel that I am getting lazy. I think I need to force myself to walk more and work more—even though I am retired. I do like to keep up with my customers and paint for them when they ask me for work. Lately, I have been asking myself, what is retirement? What should I be doing? How should I be winding down? I don’t want to be like some who spend all of their time in front of a TV.
The Pains of Old Age Keep Me in Line
In Psalm 119:67 and 71 it says,
Before I was afflicted I went astray,
But now I keep Your word…
71 It is good for me that I have been afflicted,
That I may learn Your statutes.
I’m not sure exactly what the Psalmist was referring to, but for me it has plenty of application to my old age. Every morning I get up reeking with arthritis pain, and it takes me a while to get going. And I also find that every little thing I do is more worrisome. These pains and problems tend to drive me more to God in prayer and in the word. I seek Him more now than ever before. So, I conclude with the Palmist that affliction is good for me; it keeps me in line with Him, seeking His will.
Update: Feelings about every Little Thing
I’ll start off with my overall feelings—how I feel, generally, about everything, about every little thing. I mean it seems like so many things are beginning to pile up on me and making me anxious. I suppose that’s why I think it’s time for an update. I need a vent. I need to put things in perspective, to organize, and most of all to bring things to the Lord—the One who knows it all and who cares.
I can’t find an adequate description of how things are with me. There are fears and worries and tiredness and some regrets and some health issues and just a lack of clarity about things. And then I worry about what is happening to me. Okay, I have a list I want to work through—mainly for my sake, but you can listen in if you want.
The News
I heard the other day that, I think it was about 65% of people, don’t believe the news—TV news, newspapers, all of it. News people these days have an agenda. They aren’t true journalists. They have a plan. They write the way they want to influence people. For instance, the reason that they are writing in the papers and on TV news about the Jan. 6th subpoenas and about those who are refusing to come, it is all an effort to get people to think badly about what Donald Trump did—so that they will think twice about voting for him. Again, its all politics. Its all about stopping Trump. It’s so sick! I could say more, but I think that’s enough on news for now.
My Reading
I’m reading United States of Socialism, by Dinesh D’Souza. Generally, I think it’s a good book—very informative and true. But sometimes, like the news, it gets to be too negative. I guess I have to also be reading the Word. It’s like drinking coffee. For every gulp of coffee, we should also take one or two gulps of water, especially on hot days when I am working outside. My doctor told me that.
My Writing
I’m an author, so most of my writing will be on a book. And then I will transfer parts of it to my blog. I’m writing now on the Tribulation. That sounds pretty negative, but I’m actually being blessed by the writing—because I’m using the bible as my main source. I’ve gotten to the point now where most of what I write comes out good on the first try—no editing requited. But recently that’s not been true—because of a hard passage in Revelation. Anyway, I was fairly sure of this one thing I wrote. Then last night because of additional reading on it, I know now that I will have to change it. It must be changed. And when you are writing a biblical commentary on a passage, it is critical to get it right. And when you do finally get it right after the second or third try it will always be a blessing and worth the effort.
My Jobs
It’s always nice to take time off. But I’m getting the itch now to go back to work—at least a little. Oh, I’m a house painter if you didn’t know. I’m retired, but I’m thinking that as long as I feel good enough to work, and want to, I will. I like painting and I especially like doing it to help people. It’s something God has gifted me at and put me into. However, it seems that because of my aging, I have more worries about it—about every aspect of it: doing it right, not falling off a ladder, pleasing people, all of it. Well, I’ve come to the end now on this blog and I feel better. Thank the Lord.
Stephen Nielsen 