
These are the best words I can think of. Here’s my story. I am in the process of republishing a few of my books. I’m not the best at it, but I insist on doing everything myself (I’m a self-publisher). I am mostly redoing the book covers. Well, I won’t go into all the details, but it is a little tricky getting everything to line up and looking good. Then next, I have to submit it and buy a copy of the book. And when I get it back in the mail (in print form), I have to inspect it for its approval. If it looks good to me I will mark it as approved and then it is put on the market. However, if it is not right—for instance if the title and authors name on the edge of the book are not centered—I have to fix it and send it back again and go through the whole process again, which takes at least another two or three weeks. Well, sometimes it is Lulu’s (the publisher) fault and sometimes my fault. But regardless, it’s a headache and I get a feeling of regret over the loss of time and money. Sometimes I have to go through the approval process three or four times. I hate the waiting! I regret the waiting.
Or maybe it’s not entirely regret. Maybe it’s partly just grumbling and complaining and worry—and all distress.
Last night I had a good sleep and God allowed me to dream. I was in another world. I woke up refreshed. But then two seconds after I woke up I remembered my publishing problem and I said to myself, “Oh no, I am here again in this real world of distress.” I thanked the Lord for allowing me to escape for the night in my dreams, and I also prayed He would somehow take away my regret and distress—my feeling of loss, or whatever this bad feeling is.
You know, I think this feeling is what hell will be like—an eternity of regret over loss, and over my mistakes. And not being able to do anything about it.
But as time passes I am hopeful that God will give me more positive, peaceful, hopeful thoughts. Just to read and meditate on Scripture and anything more positive helps. And praying over it helps. God will help. Scripture tells us that praying about our problems will cause the peace of God that surpasses all comprehension to guard our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus (Phil. 4:6-7). Here, I take it that because of our union with Christ when we pray, Jesus will give us a supernatural inner peace and will guard and protect our being. Sounds wonderful. Just thinking about it is giving me hope.
More thoughts. I regret mistakes I make at my painting, but that’s different because I can fix it the next day. In the publishing world you have to wait and wait and wait.
And there are many other losses people have to deal with, like their house burning down and having to rebuild. Some people deal with theses things well, others don’t.
I’m reading about Jonathan Edwards. He had some real distresses to deal with. After serving as head Pastor in a church for over twenty years, because of a controversy over communion, a few leaders in the church expelled him. I’m sure he and his large family suffered a great loss. But was Janathan overcome with regret and sorrow? No. He remained strong in faith. He said, “The Lord has not forsaken us, nor suffered us to sink under our trials. He has in many respects exercised a fatherly care of us in our distresses.”
And God did have another mission for him as he began a mission to a group of Indians located about 100 miles west in the deep wilderness. It was a calling he was prepared for since he already had a prayer burden for them.